Today is my blog birthday. Three years ago
TheOtherMartinTaylor.com went live.
A
couple of days ago I started writing an anniversary missive all about,
how even though I got little traffic or recognition, I didn't need any
fame or glory because I had faith in my photography and so I would
carry on regardless.
What a load of bull ... or at
least it feels like bull today. As if to prove how schizophrenic I can
be, today I seem to have all the bravado and confidence blown out of me
and I'm back to wondering why I even want to be a photographer.
Somewhere between all of my friends' unquestioning compliments and a
haunting online critique member's assertions that my photographs are
dull and pointless, probably lies the truth.
I recently read some research claiming that deep down, people
were
pretty accurate in there self-assessments about their
skill levels and
artistic position on the totem-pole of a particular
endeavor. There
were, however, anomalies: the great, who were unconvinced of the value
of their work; and the bad, who had an overly high opinion of their
place. The research seemed to ignore those of us who one day think
we're a pretty good photographers, and the next want to abandon our
cameras completely.
I am not fishing for
compliments here; I'm just acknowledging that I have work to do. You
have to have constant faith in your own work before anyone else will.
Me?
I can't even decide what kind of photographer I want to be. One day,
I'm in love with the highfalutin' art photography field. The next, its
pretentiousness turns me off completely. One day, I aspire to
the
purity of documentary style. The next, it just doesn't feel like
enough. Sometimes though, trying everything seems like the only way to
go; and other times I don't feel like real depth can be achieved
without concentration on one specific project. Most of the time I
figure, I'll shoot for as long as able to even when it feels like a
chore or a nasty habit; one I could easily give up.
Oh, and this is as
good as a time to tell you that my site is in need of an overhaul, so
watch out for that coming soon. My wife, over at Mostly
Sunny, has been
on my case for years to lose the "spooky" white/black/orange theme so
it's going to go.
And
now for some fun news, news that my wife has been urging me to share,
One, no, actually two of my pics were chosen by a French punk band
called the Bushmen, for the front & rear album art, both of
which
were found trolling through the mysterious mesh that is the web. Anyway
here is a link to the Bushmen's page on MySpace.
And here are my links to the two original images: Memorial
Day and Sentinel.
I'm
thinking that the only thing, then, for me to do is to try harder
still. It's no use carrying a camera everywhere if you don't
intend to
use it. To kick off the "Martin attempts to kick it up a notch"
project, for my 3 year anniversary I will try to use my photoblog in
the purist way possible.
For one month, I will post a picture
every day that I have taken in the past 24 hours. (For some of you this
may seem like a trivial task, but to me it seems monumental.) In
addition I promise not to complain about this self-imposed schedule or
apologize or make excuses for less than perfect pictures.
Anyway, let's see how I feel about this self-imposed
assignment in a month.
